The move

We recently had to say goodbye to one of the women we spent a lot of time with there in town. She left to go to the states. She has a fiancée there, in California, and after a year and a half long process, (along with a huge amount of trips to Tegucigalpa and a lot of money) was finally granted her visas, for her and her two children. Friday morning she left Talanga, and then Honduras, for only the second time in her life. Never having flown before it must have been a bit of a nerve wracking experience, but I’m sure the thoughts of being in the states and with her fiancée must have been so overwhelming that flying was simply a stressful means to a beautiful end.
Although she will be GREATLY missed here in Talanga, this is not the point of this post. More than that, I bring up this subject to talk about the huge sense of gratuity I now have, more so now than ever before, for the opportunities I have been given, and the fortune I had being born in the United States.
Here in Talanga everyone has family in the states. It’s just the way of life. People don’t have employment here, and so someone goes ‘for the good of the family’ and if they make it safely and find work, wire money down every month. The lines at the banks are endless around the end of month. This money allows people to eat, send their children to school, and maybe even start their own corner businesses here, to help with the income needed.
I guess in some ways it’s a blessing that small towns like Talanga have people sending money in from other places. Honestly I can’t imagine how life in Talanga would be without this support. However, in many other ways, it’s a breakdown in the way of life here.
I guess to explain this issue I would have to talk about the family structure here. The term family is used only in the loosest sense of the word here. There are generally three generations living in a house at any given time and sister and brother are usually synonymous with cousin, or even friend. The Latin culture calls for Machismo, or the belief that men are strong manly men that are the heads of household, which leaves women often powerless. To prove their masculinity, often time men will have many families, and often leave women and their children to start another family entirely.
With many families that don’t include a father figure to begin with, and many other families sending their men to the states to work, the social structure is really lacking here. Children don’t have good role models, and base a lot of things on money, because in many instances love has been replaced with money from their dads that are in a different country and only able to offer monetary support. It also offers a whole slew of issues for the women of the family, who are required to fill both roles while also missing their ‘spouses’. The men that go are often not really married prior to leaving, meaning there could be a complete cut off from income if the man meets a new wife in the states. Here marriages aren’t common, only for those that are wealthy enough to afford the legal documents, which isn’t a large percentage of the population.
With this said, I am more than ever grateful for what I have. People here try time and time again to just live in the US, never mind the privileges we are given from birth. Although they will have to work for everything they get, worry about immigration and legal issues, and hope to learn the language, they are so grateful just for the chance to come to our country, for them the ‘land of hope’.
Like I said it won’t be easy for our community member that is leaving. Her kids will have to learn the language, but they also get to learn the language. She will have to get used to our inflated prices and have to find employment, but she gets to have employment, and is hopefully able to pay for what she will need. Its ridiculous to think about all of the changes she will have to make over the next year or so as she adjusts, but its even crazier to think about all she has given up to just live in the US, and how grateful she will be.